Short Stories, Long Odds

Last week was difficult. The candidates and the world in general seemed reticent and hard to get a handle on. Many things happened and reporting them from the icy backward steppes of bad wiring and orange late-summer skies proved difficult. How grateful we all are, then, for another week.

Last week was difficult. The candidates and the world in general seemed reticent and hard to get a handle on. Many things happened and reporting them from the icy backward steppes of bad wiring and orange late-summer skies proved difficult. How grateful we all are, then, for another week.

If you will remember from several weeks ago, the Republicans scrounged in the absence of Jack Ryan and falsely delivered Mike Ditka for the vacant Illinois Senate seat. For those of you who don’t watch the news or pay attention to the world around, the previous sentence is not a joke: the best idea the Illinois Republicans could come up with as a collective political think tank was running a former (yet beloved) NFL Coach, Mike Ditka. He decided not to run and so his wife isn’t divorcing him, although luck, faith and hope seem to have abandoned the GOP in the Land of Lincoln:

Keyes to Challenge Obama for U.S. Senate Seat

That’s right. Somehow, by using an actual politician, they worsened their chances. Lincoln would have problems against Obama, unless it comes out that he eats infants or something. And I’m pretty sure he doesn’t. The Republicans are actually going to spend money on this race, and more power to them. Although eventually Keyes is going to get tired of being the official Sacrificial Lamb for black conservatism and roll up on some fools.

Item: During the last State of the Union address, Bush told us that “Americans are safer” and that the world is “taking a turn for the better”. You might also remember the whole “Americans are safer” thing being a big talking point pre-DNC. Well, all we’ve heard ever since the end of The Great Hope Hype has been about how we are not safe at all. I understand that certain things must be said in the service of politics, I get that. But I really wish he would only try to sell me on one thing or the other, not both. It is continually this strange dichotomy of the Armageddon Dutch expected and new sunshiney morning he foretold.

But it is important to remember that we are in danger, so we won’t focus on the fact that the jobs market is in the dumper. Words have been tossed around in this forum like “unemployment” and “jobs record”, and in some cases I have been remiss. In some instances when I have said “unemployment” I’ve actually meant “underemployment”. Sure, some jobs have been created and what we’ve been told hasn’t entirely been a lie, but more a lie by omission. So last week’s news that the jobs market sucks was not a huge surprise to me, but to some people I imagine it was.

In Canadian news, God has beset the Great White North with a plague, yea, and all shall perish and the trees shall burst from their untapped maple syrup.

And West Africa too. But without the syrup.

In conclusion, Iran is not only making nuclear weapons again but is also sending weapons to insurgents in Iraq. I’m not going to say that this is a possibility but just brazenly claim it is actually happening, because why wouldn’t it?

Also, this is one of the most bizarre things I’ve ever read. Its about the Bushes going to church.