I kind of feel sorry for the Republicans, because their convention is about the most uncool thing I’ve seen on TV in years. I know that has no actual political importance, but it really is like some sort of school assembly presentation where the principal enlists the 38-year-old geometry teacher to “get hip and break it down verbally with the kids.”
Seriously, a video of GHWB with the RNC band vamping on the chorus from Van Halen’s “Jump” in the background? I think there was a star wipe in there.
Oh, oh and Dexter Freebish! They uh… ohh good. Dexter Freebish.
I also like that the convocation was given by a black Muslim from Harlem. The RNC is really pushing the idea that they care about you, minorities and religions other than White Judeo-Christianity. Here is the truth: they don’t. Soon they will be back to treating you like poor people again. I notice they haven’t handed the microphone to any bums and let them conduct delegate interviews.
Hastert was apoplectic with bad jokes earlier, calling the DNC the Boston Tax Party, and accusing Kerry of wanting to raise taxes on “the job creators”. This is more or less true but his jowls made it sound a lot worse than “rich people will have to pay taxes on par with the rest of us.”
Annnnnd finally, George Bush claimed on the Today Show that the War on Terrorism is not a war that can be won. Here is a letter from me to the Democrats:
Dear Democrats,
You’d better pound that fucking quote into the ground. Here’s your chance to play the Republican game and not look like assholes, so don’t blow it.
XOXO,
Josh