Okay, I know I promised a bigger update, but despite the fact that I’ve negotiated all the first round of term papers I’m still up to my eyeballs in it. I have two surprise exams next week, so instead of a big ol’ update, I’m going to point out some ridiculous ironies and happenings in the news:
President Bush demands occupying force in Middle Eastern country immediately initiate full pull out of its forces
Pretty funny right? Syria (which had a hand in running Lebanon’s government until the government resigned not too long ago) is on the business end of tersely worded letters and speeches! Up next, we will bomb a country to get it out of the country it is occupying. They are a road block in the road freedom is marching on.
:: omg irony instrumental ::
I will get emails accusing me of hating the troops for this one
I think its perfectly acceptable to support our troops but to also not be terribly happy with all the civilians, kids, and now foreign national agents getting shot and killed by US troops when they fire on cars. I understand that cars are a danger since sometimes they’re loaded with boom juice, I get that. But it seems like every week or so we’re shooting kids or people rescuing hostages or something. Here I will insert the line about how we were told lies about why we went in and how Iraq was, by and large, a grand miscalculation.
How do you write al-QaQaa to the 90th power?
Remember that thing about how that site in Iraq with all the giant-ass explosives got looted of 390 tons of boomjunk after we invaded and occupied Iraq? Well here’s a follow up to that story you aren’t going to see on FOX: it happened 90 other places!
I remember sitting in a bar with my pal Lee the night the war began. He had a daughter on the way and was convinced that this was going to fix the world.
“Trust me,” I said “This is going to be way more trouble than its ever going to be worth.”
Its easy to say I’m wrong now, in the face of international anomalous coincidence where Syria is getting bounced out of Lebanon and everyone is getting to vote. I got news for you: the US didn’t have much to say about Syria’s occupation of Lebanon until the Lebanese took to the streets after their ex-PM got turned into pollution. The UN and the EU are going to fight the US every step of the way if anyone gets even a whiff of more pre-emptive action. And all those explosives are going to turn up at what I dare say will be highly inopportune times.
A shmorgasbortion of anti-choice Democrats
In an age where the strongest Democratic actors on (and contenders for) our legislatiive floor are anti-choice and about as socially non-progressive as one can get, House Republicans are busy contradicting themselves at fundraiser dinners.
The richest irony of the week comes from Jim Gibbons (R-Nev) who pondered how liberals can be against death in Iraq and yet for abortion (which rounds Gibbon’s side out as defending and championing the sanctity of life) and then immediately wishes all the treasonous fuckers opposed to the war had died in it. Say what you will about the human shield activists, but buying them tickets so they can eat a sandy death doesn’t do much to defend and protect life.
Syria has just been outlawed, the bombing begins in five minutes. Enjoy your pancakes.
Thank you Jesus! Speaking of House Republicans, Sam Johnson (R – Texas :: sigh ::) told President Bush and Kay Granger at a church pancake breakfast last week that he would personally like to nuke Syria, after which “you know, we wouldn’t have to worry about Syria anymore.” The big surprise of the story is that he even bothered to make a statement to the Dallas Morning News, in which he said:
“I was kind of joking — you know, we were talking between veterans,” he said. He added that President Bush knew he was joking.
Bush wasn’t sure who the other veteran was, but he was pretty sure Kay Granger got in the shit in Nam or something.
Okay, that’s enough for now. Bushrods and Funhogs alike need their rest.
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