The Ideal Editor – Writer Relationship: A Chat Log

12:57 PM me: happy birthday honger
Are you still in the savage lands?

12:58 PM Joe: No, back in NYC.
How goes it?

me: Compared to what?

12:59 PM Joe: I don’t know. Penury, disgrace?

me: Not bad at all.
I learned a new word while writing a small story for Texas Observer and then didn’t get the chance to use it in the story
1:00 PM Yonic: describing or alluding to the vaginal, the womb. Counterpoint to phallic.

Joe: Lousy word. No onomatopoeia.

me: hahaha

1:01 PM Joe: Only William Buckley could pull that word off.
And he’s dead.

me: That sounds like a challenge.
I got away with ‘surfeit’.

1:02 PM Joe: Surfeit is a good word.

me: “Sudden surfeit of earthquakes,” no less

1:03 PM Joe: Thats no good. Too many S’s, for one. Plus it’s not like you can have an accumulation of earthquakes. They’re not like pies. You can have a surfeit of pies.
Spate of earthquakes? Series? String?
1:04 PM Surge?

1:06 PM me: I think, considering surfeit’s root and usage to mean overabundance, you can have a surfeit of earthquakes in some cases, like 5 over seven days centered on a town that had never had seismic activity at all prior to those

Joe: It’s wrong and you know it.

me: and since when is alliteration undesirable? I think it is a lost art
goddammit

Joe: You can’t have an overabundance of earthquakes. One is too much.
One earthquake is an overabundance.

1:07 PM me: But they are tiny adorable earthquakes!

Joe: And earthquakes don’t abound.
I don’t think you can have an overabundance of anything that isn’t a physical thing.
Can you have a surfeit of wind?
ANSWER ME THAT MOTHERFUCKER

1:08 PM me: The crab fishermen on the Bering Sea would say yes
Do you hate America now?

Joe: If they’re illiterate they would.

me: <— lolz
okay fine, I’ll change it

Joe: You went to college so you wouldn’t have to be a crab fisherman.

1:09 PM me: I dislike overabundances of wind

Joe: String of earthquakes works.
Use that.

me: no, I’m going to use spate

Joe: String of intensifying earthquakes? That “ten” sound in the middle really propels it.

me: so you know how emasculated I am

Joe: Feel that rhythm.
1:10 PMAnd there’s a hint of alliteration.
Don’t be emasculated. Just don’t use words incorrectly.
fucker

1:12 PM me: fair enough.

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