And sometimes you have to pack up both of your roommates – Danny the gay singer-songwriter from a Mormon Army family in Utah who looked and sounded like Elton John; and Jay, the CrackerBaller, the white Tupac / King Diamond expert in the mail-order KOOL baseball jersey who said he was from Detroit but was really from Sterling Heights – and go to the 99 Joints album release party in some gutterflat in Allston. Here you proceed to meet some new people, you see that cellist you think is really hot, and then, somehow, you end up dancing on a kitchen island to “The Big Payback” by James Brown at 3 in the morning, all the hours since midnight a black blur.
Written in 2001. This is not strictly non-fiction, but almost everything is true? The geography may also be a little skewed.
I stopped in New London on my way from Boston to New Haven once. If I remember correctly, I could see the whole town from the top of the hill, looking down into the bay. [...]
This is another throwback that almost got published but then didn’t. The strong local Boston color lets you know who it was for.
Boston Winter Rental Kit
Price: $3,999
Description: Simulates the fun of trying to get out of your lease by finding new tenants for your apartment in Malden in winter.
Hazards: When you drop the price to [...]
I’m walking to school after getting off the Orange Line today, a train which prompted me to invent this toy for the paper’s Holiday Dangerous Toys List:
Stabbers! – The Orange Line Activity Set
Price: $19.99
Tagline: “Any More Carnage and They’ll Have to Rename it the Red Line!â€
Description: Comes with plastic train, sweat pants, shiv
Hazards: May cause [...]
Oh lordy, things have been getting busy. Final projects have started at school and the paper is getting ready for a big Holiday Shopping guide, in which characters from the Nativity tell you what to buy for, er, Christmas.
I’m writing as the Baby Jesus, and my topic is video games, so I’ve been playing [...]