You get the idea.

...or maybe truth in advertising? Taken in Minnesota

Unsatisfied with the current crop of Presidential candidates? My time on the trail has introduced me to some of the alternatives that would love to get your vote.

My Dog Brutus

He is adorable and he promises not to raise taxes.

Fighting Cock Whiskey

The ideological embodiment of combating militant Islamic extremism, filling the void left by Rudy. 9/11.

Me from 1996

Me From 1996 will flam drag us into the 21st Century.

Bunghole Liquors

The mainstream of American recreational thought. Also, a natural ticket-pairing with Fighting Cock Whiskey.

Christian Science

Like Mike Huckabee, but more credible.

The Rad Law Firm

The name speaks for itself. The Rad Law Firm will have the Raddest legislative agenda you ever saw.

A Cat That Looks Like Morgan Freeman

There is a harsh truth to face. No way I’m gonna make it on the outside. All I do anymore is think of ways to break my parole. Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won’t have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to Andy. A promise to run for President of these United States.

Yes, but was it Phil Collins Genesis or Peter Gabriel Genesis?

I secretly hope it was Peter Gabriel Genesis.

Snow Day, originally uploaded by jberthume.

It isn’t usually like this in Texas, but here you go.