Got this back on the Rejection Express today. I think I’m just not getting the tone quite right, even though I think the lists I’m submitting are funny at an appropriately advanced level. Failed Massively Multiplayer Roleplaying Games By Josh Berthume Rappers of the Caribbean – Errrbody on the Boat Gettin’ Scurrrvy Bob Saget’s Entourage …
Joe: You can’t have an overabundance of earthquakes. One is too much.
One earthquake is an overabundance.
1:07 PM me: But they are tiny adorable earthquakes!
Joe: And earthquakes don’t abound.
I don’t think you can have an overabundance of anything that isn’t a physical thing.
Can you have a surfeit of wind?
ANSWER ME THAT MOTHERFUCKER
Best Song Lyrics I’ve Found In A While: So I’ll stick to my guns, but from now on it’s war: I’m armed with the past, and the will, and a brick – Frightened Rabbit, Good Arms vs. Bad Arms Best Line from Neruda That Used To Be a Favorite Until I Forgot It (Tie): I …
( I have rescued the first two paragraphs of this from something I wrote last summer, something begun and never finished. The rest is likewise not a real narrative but rather a collection of stuff, much of which is from a notebook I’ve been writing tiny bits in since last century. It is leather-bound and …
I have been collecting literary / writing contests lately, and most of them are pretty cut and dried: type, style, genre, word count, deadline, etc. You do occasionally find something very interesting, though. Geist is a good book, and they have launched an example of such a contest: The Geist Fortune Cookie Contest First Prize: …
(Written in 2008) What the hands want, the heart desires until the sun sets and the moon retires. Why the fuck am I at Wal-Mart on Easter Sunday?
Part of being a professional writer is being rejected. I thought it would be informative to show you what things I’ve submitted that get passed on for publication and to tell you why, if the editor was kind of enough to let me know. This was my first ever submission to McSweeney’s which, as literary …